Your original essay clearly had a great deal of material, more than double the permitted 2000 characters. The editor’s task was therefore cut and dry: finding the very best material within many very strong points.

In this essay, you demonstrated key strengths: advanced education in business, a family challenge overcome, and in-industry experience.

Some key strengths of your original work include its quantitative, informed tone, demonstrating a high-intelligence individual who understands business jargon and uses it properly.

Your original document was a nice well-balanced statement to start off with, tying your experiences directly to your future goals. The essay solidified your background, showing you had a career focus and demonstrating how you specialized.

Your original draft had many strong points, offering material that demonstrated leadership and vision. Getting to the idea of “ringing the opening bell at NASDAQ,” you outlined your dreams, explained your preparation, and discussed a valuable leadership experience.